| Q: What is the connection between water conservation and ethics? What are your personal responsibilities?
A: Disagreements are a natural part of human relationships at work as well as at home. While many people have been taught to avoid conflicts, recognizing and handling disagreements can provide opportunities for creating stronger and more honest relationships.
John Myers, a maintenance mechanic working for Water System Operations in La Verne, suggests these caveats:
- Stay on topic.
- Don’t interrupt.
- Listen carefully and respectfully.
- Give all relevant information instead of just giving the perspective you favor.
Another employee said that when a disagreement occurs, she reminds herself that it isn’t a personal attack, but keeps in mind that the issue could be personal to the other individual, so she always respects the position of the other party. These guidelines help disagreements end in mutual respect and understanding.
Together, these suggestions make it easy to dismantle the myths that fuel destructive methods of being in conflict.
Myth #1: The goal of conflict is to have your point of view prevail. Wrong. Handling disagreement well means that everyone feels like a winner. The real goal is to reach a level of understanding that allows for relationships to be maintained. Usually, that means that everyone involved needs to accept an outcome different from one’s own opinion. Other times, it is possible to agree to disagree. If one person can’t allow disagreement about ideas or values to co-exist peacefully in an ongoing, productive relationship, that is an indication that the real disagreement is over something other than the topic that has been discussed.
Myth #2: You should try to sell your point of view. No. Even though it may be counter-intuitive to hold our tongues when we’re really upset, that is the best choice. The process that allows for conflicts to be resolved is one in which each party is working hard to understand the other rather than to persuade each other. If I am working to understand the person with whom I disagree, I listen hard, I ask questions. The other person knows that I think that his/her perspective is worth my time and understanding.
Remembering that disagreement is not a competitive sport may be the most important insight. As Hydroelectric Team Manager Jim Dumon pointed out, “Sometimes, people are so focused on winning that they don't consider what they might be losing.”
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